Sunday, April 28, 2013

Tragedy and Terror

As a merchant mariner, a sailor, a sea captain for chrissakes, I am ever mindful that tragedy can strike in an instant. I am vigilant. I am prepared. I have contingency plans and I’m always thinking two steps ahead.

When I’m holding the boat at a platform or drilling rig, I know what I’ll do and which direction I’ll go if the current or wind suddenly shifts. I know what to do in the event of a fire, or someone falling off the boat, or if we sink.

It’s part of the mystique of the sea, this rugged self-reliance we mariners own.

Then my Kindle went on the fritz.

It looks like my 2-year-old scribbled black crayon on the bottom third of every page of the book I’m reading. And on every page of all the other books in the library.

I used to carry a backpack full of books to the boat. Now all of my reading material is on this one, slim tablet. It’s how I put myself to sleep each morning. It’s my lifeline to my other life, the one ashore.


The Kindle folks, in their troubleshooting guide, say that this is sometimes the result of electromagnetic interference and offer a recovery solution which had absolutely no effect on my device.

So I called Amazon, and within about 20 minutes had a replacement winging its way to me, next-day (Saturday, even) delivery, at no charge.

It arrived today.


While all is well on the Kindle front, I’m a little worried about my deckhand. 

A few moments ago he told me that he had dreamt about Justin Beiber.

Really? Justin Bieber? My deckhand is 28. Male. Mostly heterosexual, so far as I can tell.

He's also from Mississippi, more farm boy than fan boy. He's college-educated, and prefers The Grateful Dead to teen pop sensations.

“Yeah, I had a dream that I was in his room and he was showing me his closet where he keeps all his douche clothes, and there were bunnies in the closet and the bunnies would choose which douche outfit he would wear each day, but he was mistreating the bunnies so I got mad and shoved him into the closet and the bunnies ate him.”

Y’all analyze that one.

1 comment:

  1. Okay, so that's really a good chronicle. Good story with a clever title. Bet your deckhand has trouble going to sleep next time.
    Here's something to dream about yourself: You have at least one son with a sense of humor just like yours. (Prob'ly 2 or 3 of them) Sweet dreams with that thought!