Azimuths and Amplitudes ...

Now in the last week of the upgrade prep course, and just six days out from testing at the Regional Exam Center, I can't quite believe how much material we've covered.

Holy crap, it's a lot of stuff. And a lot of math, which -- if you had asked me beforehand -- I would have told you I can't possibly do.

Except I can, apparently. Who knew?

About five days ago, faced with a small mountain of material I had yet to master, some of which gets me about halfway to celestial, I decided, regretfully, to change my route from oceans to near coastal.

That knocks two modules off my exam and makes a couple of others a bit easier.


Shortly after making the decision, I printed, signed, scanned and emailed a letter to the National Maritime Center asking for an amendment to my approval to test. That was at about 1030. At around 1400, I had the amended letter in my inbox.

Apparently you only have to call your congressman once to get continued stellar customer service.

I'll have covered enough by the end of this course that I believe I can probably swing celestial with just a little long-distance tutoring. Or maybe a lot of long-distance tutoring. We'll see.

The only reason I think it's possible, much less probable, is because our instructor is crazy good at this stuff.

He's not only good at algebra and trig, but really good at translating abstract ideas into actionable tools to solve problems.

And he's a fun guy, as are the other two mariners taking the course. Good thing, since we're all staying in the same house we're studying in, and the studying is averaging about 14 hours a day.

As you might expect, there have been a couple of study breaks.

One of the coolest things about this experience, for me, is the opportunity to get to know Galveston a little better.

I had a South Texan's prejudices about the city -- I still think the beaches are pretty crappy -- and have been happily surprised to find it endlessly fascinating. It's a tiny, old, very urban city.

I guess its history would point to that, but seeing it first-hand (other than driving in our out for work, or during a quick weekend visit) is something else.

Anyhow, that's the report from the waterfront. I'm underway making way this week.

Feelin’ Classy

Well, I’ve been in class a lot lately, anyhow. Can we just call it good and let the title slide? Okay. Thanks.

Hawsepipin’ ain’t easy.

Kids, take it from me, if you think you want to be a sailor … get yourself to an academy. I’m not saying earning a degree and a Third Mate’s license in four years is easy, either, but it’s a damned sight more straightforward.

To give you an idea, MITAGS-PMI designed a “workboat academy” that gets you from a dead start to Mate 1600 tons Near Coastal (Mate 500 tons Oceans) in a regimented 32 weeks of classroom instruction and 52 weeks of shipboard training.

They have lots of smart people guiding you along the way, making sure you punch the right tickets and get the correct STCW endorsements.

It’s two years and about $32,000, though you’ll make a little bit back with a cadet stipend (see update in comments below) while you’re at sea.

Do it on your own, and you get paid (better) along the way, but you’ll have to figure-out which courses and exams you need, which endorsements are required and which ones the company you hope to work for wants … and you’ll have to try to schedule classes between hitches.

You’ll drive overnight to save on a hotel room, brown bag it when you can, and scrimp on things at home. You’ll easily still spend between $10,000 and $15,000 on training, unless you’re fortunate enough to work for a company that pays your way.

I’m not complaining. Compared to what I spent at college, and its payoff in the “real world,” it’s a heck of a deal.

Over the past three months I haven’t exactly been burning up the road – classes got cancelled, I bailed on some others when the kids were sick or the money got tight – but after the past two weeks in Louisiana I’ve knocked-out almost everything on the Coast Guard’s checklist for Master 500, and I’m ready to go back to work.

I should have approval to test from the Coast Guard by August, and if I hit the books hard can sit the exam by November.

There are quite a few approved schools out there, on all three coasts. I completed my Radar Observer, Basic and Advanced Firefighting and PSC/Lifeboatman courses at Fletcher Technical Community College’s Houma campus. I give it high marks for good instructors and equipment and the best prices around.

San Jacinto Community College in Pasadena (Houston), Texas, provided Vessel Security Officer, Bridge Resource Management and Basic Safety Training. You’ll find their courses listed under Mid-Atlantic Maritime Academy on the Coast Guard’s website.

At the moment, San Jac merely gets the job done, but wait a year and you can take classes at their new, 56,000 square foot training facility on the Houston Ship Channel. They already have the best full bridge simulator set-up in the country.

Young Memorial Community College in Morgan City also offers cheap training, and one of only two approved online (you still have to test in person) AB courses in the country. That’s a real time saver when you’re working 28/14.

Dynamic positioning training is in high demand right now … in mid-April, the only place I could find an available seat before mid-July was at Houston Marine Training in Kenner (New Orleans). The curriculum and instruction are good, the DP simulator equipment not so much, but they’re supposed to get new systems this summer.

Houston (How-stan) Marine is now part of Falck-Alford, by the way, with all that implies.

Here’s a word to the wise … if you don’t yet hold an STCW certificate (i.e., 500-ton or better license), but you want to knock-out your DP induction course, take the time to send the Nautical Institute a request for approval to train. Because, at some schools anyway, you won’t get your certificate and logbook without that letter. (Shoot me an emal at crewboatchronicles (at) gmail if you’d like a copy of the form the NI requires).

Along the way so far, I’ve discovered that the very best part of all of these classes is meeting other mariners from a wide range of backgrounds and varying experience. I’ve been in class with maritime academy graduates, guys who work on tankers and guys who work on tugs.

I’ve met ABs and folks about to be ABs and mates in training and Chief Mates Unlimited and a whole lot of other guys like me.

It’s always cool to share sea stories, but even better is getting insight into the way different sectors of the industry do things and the scoop on how different companies treat their people.

The adventure continues.

Shenanigans (Part One): FNGs

Shenanigans abound offshore. Some are the predictable result of having six guys cooped-up in a smallish aluminum box with limited outlets for recreation.

Some are the result of laziness or restricted bandwidth at the management level, which shouldn’t tolerate such things (coming in Part Two). Some are pure criminality (see Part Three).

There is an entire seabag of tricks to screw-around with newbies. I probably don’t even know the best ones, but they include things like: sending the green guy to get a bucket of prop wash, replacing spark plugs on the (diesel) mains, tuning the radars ….

That last one involves having the new guy wander around the dock with a foil-covered hard hat, a metal rod of some sort and a hand-held VHF. It is … almost … plausible. And hilarious.

At the beginning of the last hitch, there was much discussion about preventive measures to avoid the dreaded “dickworm.” There was even an ersatz Wikipedia article about penile helminthes, and warnings flashed from new guy to new guy across the fleet.

All of this from an off-hand remark after the newbie wondered why chlorine tabs were being dropped into the rig water we took on at the dock.

New guys get f*cked with. A lot. Often to the point of counterproductivity. Recently the captain of one of our other boats was painting a dire picture of the chances of a romantic relationship surviving a deckhand’s new career. Jody was mentioned. At length.

That deckhand made it about a week before rushing home.

I’ve seen some captains call the office and demand a replacement for a newbie on the first hitch. Or state angrily that they’re not training someone without extra pay.

This is disheartening.

All of us started our workboat careers knowing nothing about the job. Every. Single. One of us. 

And training is a privilege that comes with a license, and with experience, and the last time I checked was part of the job description.

I was proud to be a temporary part of a temporary crew at the beginning of the last hitch. With two Short Service Employees (SSEs, or FNGs, if you like), the other captain and I collaborated to bring them up to speed as quickly as possible.

Five in-depth actual emergency drills in seven days. A near-complete review of the company’s new Safety and Environmental Management System. Pop quizzes. 

People staying up into the next watch to provide hands-on instruction. Extra folks on deck during cargo operations. Words of encouragement when a tired, overwhelmend new guy says dejectedly: “I’m never going to get this!”

It was pretty awesome. And it still left time for some people to worry about dickworms.

Visiting Hours

Port Fourchon is the center of the workboat universe. If you work on a boat in the oil patch, chances are you'll come through here at some point.

And since even the mental health ward has visiting hours, I have had the opportunity to catch-up with old friends and new friends at length the past couple of weeks.

It helps that our customer is operating a weather-constrained semi-submersible drilling rig, and the weather has been pretty lousy. We've mostly been propping  up the dock ... and visiting.

The ghosts of boats past are frequent visitors, including the best engineers and deckhands I've had the pleasure of working with. I've been able to catch-up with captain friends from Texas; working different hitches on different boats for this company, usually we see each other only in passing -- literally.

A fellow I met through this blog (when he was working on an OSV in Alaska) and with whom I've corresponded at length drove down to say hello after getting hired-on at Edison Chouest Offshore.

I even got to talk over the rail with the New England Waterman.

About halfway through this hitch, I decided it would be my last one with this company. Hopefully my last one on crewboats.

Bigger boats, and bigger boat companies, more often offer even time schedules and the pay scale that still makes a 180-day year financially rewarding.

New STCW rules (actually not all that new, but finally trickling down to U.S. mariners) will be implemented March 24 this year. Reportedly, that will make the leap to a 500-ton license a much lengthier, more expensive process.

So ... the next couple of months will be devoted to knocking-out endorsements and studying for the exam. I'll also take some time to reflect on what I've learned over the past couple of years. Stay tuned!